What no one tells you about motherhood.
Motherhood has been one of the most challenging moments thus far for me. Because it has caused me, to be honest, and more vulnerable to myself.
As a mom, you are constantly being bombarded with parenting dos and don'ts. The one thing that I absolutely hated, is the talk of body image. I remember the day I was discharged from the hospital to go home, one of the nurses asked me if I was breastfeeding and then replied: "oh yeah you're gonna lose weight so fast". UMMM... why is was this even a response, better yet a conversation to someone who has just given birth.
As you can imagine, once I was back in the world no longer pregnant ,but a body that still appeared to be so. It was hard to not focus on my appearance. My feet were still swollen, my stomach had the appearance that I was about 4 months pregnant. I could no longer fit any of my clothes. It was a huge adjustment for me.
I had to shift my focus from being confident with my outer appearance and really dig deeper and focus on what TRUE beauty to me meant.
Teaching Your Daughter To Be Confident
At the time, it didn't make sense to me why I was all of a sudden struggling with confidence. I knew that when I had my daughter, confidence would be the foundation of all of the things I would teach her. When I speak about confidence, I'm not speaking of confidence in your appearance and things that could fade. But the assurance, that no matter what, you are good enough and worthy. That's the confidence I'm talking about. I believe that this inward confidence is what fuels many of us to live a purposeful life regardless of what others may think. When you are confident in your gifts and your inner ability to impact the world, it begins to pour out to your outer appearance.
This confidence that I speak of was the very thing that I was lacking. I didn't believe that I was good enough to be a mom. I didn't believe in my gifts and talents anymore and I just started to feel really helpless. Which then, poured into my frustration with my appearance. I didn't like to look at myself in the mirror. I was embarrassed and It was starting to turn into this downward spiral until I snapped out of it one day.
"Sometimes your struggles are for you to experience, so you can teach your children"
One day I realized that the very thing that I wanted to teach my daughter, was my current struggle. It honestly has changed my perspective and has allowed me to be fully embrace who I am as a person and as a mom to india.
The Comparison Trap
Besides learning to be comfortable with my new mom body, I also had to learn, to not compare my child to other children! This was HUGE!! To be honest I think this is what many moms do. You see one child advancing fast and your child is going at their own pace.
This can be dangerous and can have some long-term repercussions that as a result will affect your child in the long run. Why? Well, because, I believe that this will form an unhealthy habit that kids can pick up on. Comparing your progress, appearance, and life to one is just not something that should be negotiated.
Do I still feel myself comparing? Occasionally. But it's something that I'm striving towards perfecting daily. No one's life is the same, everyone has their own set of struggles and goals and we must learn to accept and acknowledg that.