Tracee Ellis Ross Is 52 and I’m 34 Here’s What She Taught Me About Being Comfortable in My Own Skin

Photo Credit:@traceeellisross

I didn’t mean to go on a Tracee Ellis Ross binge. It started with her three-part Solo Traveling miniseries I was two months late, which honestly feels on brand for me and ended with me watching every interview she’s ever done like it was homework for a class called Becoming Yourself 101.

The funny thing is, I’ve known Tracee since Girlfriends. But watching her now, at 52, felt different. Growing up watching her I’ve always admired Tracee for her curls and her sense of confidence. Not only that  she’s hilarious, reflective, and completely herself in a way that feels… peaceful. 

She said something that hit me right in the gut: “Growing up, I felt like I was fighting to be in my skin.” I felt that on my 34th birthday.

That morning, I woke up, got dressed, and left my house alone for the first time in nine years. No kids. No husband. No guilt. I took myself to brunch, went shopping, bought things I didn’t need but definitely deserved, and for once I didn’t rush home feeling mom guilt. 

So when Tracee talked about doing things alone and how solo travel gives her a sense of self it made perfect sense. I’ve spent most of my adult life being everything for everyone else. And yet, there’s something healing about hearing another woman say, “It’s okay to do things alone.” Because it is. That’s how you find yourself again somewhere between silence and room service and french fries.

Enjoy this article? Great You’ll Love These Too

​​The 5 Style Phases Every Woman Goes Through, According to Issa Dee

If You’ve Ever Wondered About Getting a Color Analysis, Keke Palmer Just Gave the Perfect Example

Should You Dress Your Age? What J.Lo and Halle Berry Show Us About Style at 50+

How TV Characters Quietly Changed the Way We Dress in 2025

What Watching Tracee Taught Me (That I Didn’t Expect)

Photo Credit:@traceeellisross

Watching her switch between reading glasses and sunglasses mid-conversation made me laugh out loud because, same. I just bought prescription sunglasses so I can live my “main character at brunch” life in peace. Tracee somehow makes practicality look glamorous, and that’s a life goal.

But beneath all that fabulousness, she’s teaching life lessons I wish I’d learned from someone’s mom—or maybe from my own before motherhood swallowed her whole. Lessons like:

• Advocate for your self-care.

• “No” is a complete sentence.

• Know your limits and respect them.

What I love most is that she’s honest about how long it took her to get there. She wasn’t always this comfortable in her skin. Her self-acceptance came through trial, error, and showing up for herself repeatedly.

For Tracee, that journey was tied to her hair. In a recent self interview she talked about  how her hair was central to how she saw herself growing up trying to match herself up to a standard that did not include her. For me, it’s always been clothes. My hair could change every month braids, wigs, pixie cuts, purple highlights but fashion has always been my language. I got teased for it in high school, but here I am years later writing about it for a living. Turns out, the things that made me “too much” back then are the things that make me me now.

Another thing Tracee said that stuck with me: You are responsible for your own happiness.

I felt that deeply. These days I love silence more than noise. I book staycations alone and don’t feel bad that my kids or husband aren’t there. That time by myself makes me a better everything, better wife, better mom, better human.

Tracee also talked about being intentional with what you wear and how it gives you a small sense of control. I couldn’t agree more. Right before my birthday, I cleared out my closet and got rid of everything that didn’t feel like the woman I’m becoming. I don’t want to dress for approval anymore; I want to dress for alignment.

And I love that Tracee’s confidence isn’t male-centered. She wears what she calls her “sexual revolution dress” not for attention, but for expression and of course if she sees the man she wants to be prepared. That line“Style is how I wear my insides on my outsides” might be my favorite thing she’s ever said.

Even Her Packing Tips Made Me Think

Photo Credit:@traceeellisross

By the time I got to her packing segment, I was cracking up. Six pairs of sneakers? I get it. I pack like I’m moving to another country. But buried in the humor was a philosophy I weirdly related to: be prepared for whatever life throws at you.

Her rules were simple but kind of genius:

• Be meticulous and thoughtful pack like your future self will thank you.

• You never know who you’ll meet (so bring the dress).

• Don’t underestimate compression socks.

• Keep a laundry bag.

• Unpack when you arrive so you can enjoy what you brought.

It sounds like packing advice, but it’s also life advice. Be prepared. Take care of yourself. Make room for the version of you that wants to show up even when you’re tired.

Read This Next: I Never Know What to Pack, So I Made This List of 70 Things That Actually Helps Me Decide

Where I Landed

Photo Credit:@traceeellisross

After a few hours of watching every Tracee Ellis Ross interview I could find, here’s where I’ve landed:

She’s 52. I’m 34. Our lives look nothing alike but the desire as women and black women are still the same. To feel at home in your skin. To do the things you love without waiting for permission. To enjoy your own company and not shrink to fit what other people expect.

Tracee’s life isn’t a roadmap; it’s a mirror. And watching her reminded me that comfort isn’t about perfection it’s about peace.

At 34, I finally feel like I’m getting there. I’m still building, still mothering, still learning. But now, I’m also brunching alone, booking staycations, and wearing the dress just because.

Maybe that’s what being comfortable really means realizing you don’t have to wait for the world to catch up before you do.